Memo25edditorial

=Memo for editorial25=

====This idea sprouted in my mind directly from a grocery store,where I saw a magazine with Miley Cyrus with no makeup.It wasn't the prettiest sight,but who knows where she was,or what she was doing.It might have not even been her.My sister said,"Ew,that's grose!"She would believe every word they said.I believed it to,for a minute,until my cousin introduced me to reality.That people were paid to take, or get pictures like that,they would go to high risks,or even fake it, to make it look like celebrities look bad,when really they don't.I wanted to show people that gossip,isn't always fact,and that people aren't always who you,or others, mistake them for.====

====I picked this piece of writing because it was precise,and stuck to the topic.But I could tell that it needed some touching up.I also picked it because it had a great idea to it.The story wasn't a narrative about myself,but an editorial,one of the hardest types of stories to try and write a writer's memo about,yet I still picked it==== ====I didn't want to change anything at first,but then I kept reading it over,first I just noticed that I had some spelling errors,some vocabulary mistakes,and little editing things like that.Then I noticed that I wanted to change some sentences,and then even some facts.==== First I changed an informational paragraph, which used sarcasm,examples,and a simile. I changed it from, ====Those of you who know about Arapahoe High school might know that Anna Sophia Rob goes there.[An actress.] She's probably teased all the time because people read all this gossip about her.Life of the party huh? The stupid media sends people out to go and spy on her, they find out the small or big stories and then spice it up so the readers are interested.My friends brother,Miles, goes to Arapahoe High School and says that Anna Sophia Rob is just like a normal kid, but when she reads gossip about herself, and everyone else reads it to, she feels horrible,to==== Those of you who know about Arapahoe High School,might know about an actress Who goes there named Anna Sophia Rob.She is teased all the time,because people read all this gossip about her,and tease her that she is in High School,and she is in kid movies.She must feel like a daisy in a rose garden.I have proof from,my friends older brother,Miles,that says that people do treat her like this.Resulting in Anna Sophia Rob being mean. After that, I changed this paragraph. At first it was like this, ====Pretty much I just want the weird media to back off of all celebrities. Do you think the media should leave celebrities alone?Well I do.A little tease here and there about a celebrity is fine, but these days it's been out of control.Like on magazines they try to show celebrity's without makeup,and yeah it looks really bad, but what if they caught them in the middle of a guacamole facial or something.Really silly right?And guess what they do this all for?If you guessed money you were correct.==== To me this Paragraph seemed sort of underdeveloped.So I switched it up a little and came up with this paragraph ,which used thinking,and questions.Here it is... To sum it up really all I want to happen is for the media to just give celebrities a little more space.Do you think the media should leave famous people alone?Well I do!A little tease here and there is fine, but these days it's been out of hand.Like when you read stories in magazines they try to show celebrities without makeup,and it's not the prettiest sight in the world but who knows what celebrities were doing when the media took those pictures,they might have been in the middle of a guacamole facial or something.Pretty silly right?

And guess what they do this all for?If you guessed money you were correct.
As soon as I fixed those errors,I went to work on my 3rd paragraph.This one was, to me,was a paragraph that needed to be worked on just a little. ====And then look at Michael Jackson does it make you happy to think that his last thoughts might have been "I wish the Media gave me a break?"The Media miss took him for greedy and selfish when really all his songs and him were all about us.People that knew him say that he was actually a very generous and caring person.====

Now this doesn't just happen to them, it happens to every other actress in the world.Sad, huh?
I made this paragraph have some pazaz to it,and added some great vocabulary words.I also tweaked around with some things and made it more unique. So what about Michael Jackson.Seems like he was a bad guy right?WRONG!How would you know!The media may have made that up!His whole life he just wanted the media to back off,and leave him alone.The media mistook him for bountiful,and self absorbent,when really all his songs were about us,and the world.People who actually knew him said that he is actually a very generous,and caring.

Lastly,I fixed up some sentences that were just sort of floating around in my editorial.I made it so they were more advanced and were more put together.

Before:

Why do people like to get the dirt on other people? Maybe because it makes them feel powerful or maybe because they don't like that other person.Who knows?
====What if someone read one of your secrets on the intercom at your school?Bad right? But now picture the whole world knowing your deepest darkest secret.==== ====That's how celebrity's lives are.Only most of the time the secrets about them aren't true, or are partially true.====

After:Why do people like to get the dirt on other people.Maybe because it makes them feel powerful,or maybe because they are getting revenge,but most likely for money. What if someone read one of your deepest darkest secrets on the intercom,at your school.You would be really embarrassed huh?That's exactly how celebrities lives are,except the whole world knows.UGH!That would be horrible! This is what I did to make my editorial a better story.