Writers+memo+6

====One thing that I changed on my personal narrative was my lead sentence, I changed it to how I felt about the death hike after I took it, instead of just starting my story,not knowing how I thought about it.====

I changed a lot of sentences that I thought did not sound good, and I made them sound better and more descriptive.
====I changed only telling what happened in the story, but also telling how I felt and what I was thinking about when we were on the death hike, I included how miserable it was and how tired and hungry I was feeling.====