Memo+Writing+28

I picked this writing piece because it was my best writing of the year and making it better will make it a great story. Also it has great details and many great things about. I think what makes this writing piece the best is all the smilies and all the figurative language.

The first place I changed something is vocab because I used the same boring words every time. I went back and noticed that if I changed it it would be a lot more interesting and it would catch the readers attention. I used this in the whole because there was boring vocab the whole story.

The second place I changed something is sentence beginnings because I used the same ones like Also, Then, and The. I went back and noticed that if I changed It wouldn't be so boring and it would catch the readers attention. I used this in the whole story be cause I went back and noticed that in pretty much every sentence I used the same sentence beginnings.

The third place I changed something is figurative language because I didn't have hardly and similes or stuff like that. I went back and noticed that it would make the story more fun to read. I went back and read through it and found many places I could put figurative language in and it made the story a lot more fun to read.

The fourth place I changed something is similes because I noticed that similes can make a story a lot better. I went back and noticed that if I ad some similes It will explain what I'm trying to say. I went back after I added the similes and it was a lot more fun and interesting to read.

The fifth place I changed something is my introduction because it didn't catch the readers attention and it was boring. I went back and read through my introduction and it was a lot more fun to read.