writersmemo1

McDonald's Memo nick a

I chose to pick my journalism piece on McDonald's because i though that it was a fairly good piece of writing but it had the potential tho be a great story and i hope that is what i turned it into with these improvements and some journalism skill.

In my journalism story on the closings of McDonald's Iceland titled Outraged Iceland I noticed that my first introduction sentence was boring and it did not make the reader want to read my story so instead of just leaving it alone I changed the sentience from Iceland recently closed all of there McDonald's to Iceland is outraged I wanted to change my original starting sentience because my first sentence was not exciting and did not make the reader want to read my story. I changed my sentience to what it is now because it has excitement, it is not boring and it makes my reader want to read my story

In my second paragraph i had some of the same problems that i had with my first paragraph it did not make thee reader want to read the story so i changed my starting sentience to "Hippocrates in the USA" because i wanted to make the reader realize that judging McDonald's is a Hippocratic thing to do and it is wrong.

The next thing i changed was my 3rd paragraph because i wanted people to see that the economy will get worse and families will not have money if McDonald's closed down.

When i got to my 4th paragraph i noticed that compared to most fast food places McDonald's is a healthy choice so instead of just leaving it as an idea i added it in so that people would notice that McDonald's might not be the healthiest but it is it still healthier then other places

Those were all ways that i turned my story with potential into a great story that i am proud of and i am willing to brag about.